3 December 2013
Honest discussions are marvelous. It takes a life-time to realize their importance. They keep us human. It's always such a marvel to talk to you as we discover who each of us is to the other. It's become too cliche to use the term "on a journey" together. I've grown so tired of hearing that hackneyed phrase in every conversation since 1980. It's right up there with "not only my (lover, wife, brother, sister, mom, dad) but My Best Friend!" ad nauseam. I cringe every time I hear it at a wedding, funeral, or anniversary party. American marketing and capitalism (and television) have reduced our communication with one another down to the level of the latest fad in greeting cards. The result is collective failure to forget that what happened in life may have been driven by God's plan for each of us, and not how many Hallmark cards or Lexus automobiles Hubby granted us during a life-time. If he was really "your best friend" he would have been above all that and shared your heartache and personal pain when it was needed. He would have been there for you instead of dead to the world, permanently affixed like a stuffed bear to a recliner. I won't leave the women out of this accusation either. It takes two to tango. Neither gender is above the other when it comes to dishing out the personal pain. It might come as a surprise to you ladies, but men talk too, and usually it's about "I'm glad he's married to her and NOT ME!" What an astounding thing, this battle of the sexes - it's real - and keeps our world procreated for the future. And it has nothing to do with what's on television or movie screens or the latest batch of greeting cards at Rite Aid.
Today was exceptional when we talked. At the heart of it was a discussion of "God's Plan" for each of us and I suppose the average Catholic would wonder what any of that has to do with our Catholic Faith. We are a church and faith driven by rules and rituals and rote prayer. I have nothing against that; as a matter of fact I love it because it keeps our minds from drifting away from the center of who we are. We are a Church centered on the Holy Eucharist. I got a question as to why I had made the comment about 'people lining up for a wafer made of water and flour' in my last entry. I knew the remark would spur some people to think about it. The respondent wanted me to mention "Transubstantiation" the reasoning behind it, etc etc. It's one of those fifty-dollar words better left to be bandied about by PhD candidates and sophomores at Catholic University. I understand it fully and to the doubters, I can respond honestly on a stack of Bibles that I believe in it. It was in God's Plan for this convert to be driven toward it and want it in my life. I've had to think about God's Plan for me ever since I made a decision to enter into Communion with the Church. I was mentioning to somebody the other day that I've lived a most extraordinary life of travel, creativity, and also times of sorrow. I would not have wanted to live this life in any other way. I've tried to let God be the instigator and director. I'm human. It's not easy. I have an Ego as big as Texas and think I can do anything. God is constantly there to yank my chain and take away my water-dish or slap me around not with violence, but with loving challenges to believe in His goodness. I'm a stubborn case. That's why I have to keep going back to Communion. I have to hear the words over and over again that Christ's message was about unconditional love for all of us, no matter how much we don't want to be there to hear those words. We design, produce, and execute our own sense of unworthiness and show it to the world. We wear it as a badge of dishonor a lot of the time. Life's a lot more interesting when we can turn that unworthiness into something more positive.
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